Stickball
Stickball is a very popular sport. The "home" of the sport is Wichita, Kansas. It is considered the "manly man's game." It was started by Mr. Melvin Gharadelli. It is a favorite sport of Hell.
Only one man has ever made a homerun in the 30+-year history of the sport. There is no international league, yet, and each country has its own league, such as Greenland.
The catcher has a lacrosse stick. All the basemen have hockey sticks. A ball is used by the pitcher.
The pitcher throws the ball, and if the runner dodges or catches the ball and throws it back at the pitcher, they can begin to run. The bases in Stickball are 3 miles apart. The runner must touch each base and then come back to the home base before the basemen/fielders defeat him in combat or kill him with their hockey sticks. Most runners make a pose as the come to bat, to "challenge" the pitcher.
The catcher is allowed to do whatever signs are necessary to signal the pitcher to do a throw. It may include "rowing a boat," "playing guitar," "riding a horse around the runner." The catcher is allowed to intimidate the runner as he is coming to the plate. After the Pitcher accepts, they usually do some sort of affirmative sign back in whatever fashion they may please, usually including a thumbs up. If they reject a sign, they are only allowed to nod slightly.
During the pitch, if the runner is hit in any body part other than the nuts/penis they are allowed to try to catch the ball again up to three times. If they are hit in the nutsack/penis area then they are instantly out. If they fail to catch the ball, and pass out, other members of their team are allowed to go pick up the runner. After three outs, the next team takes the running position.
Once the runner is able to dodge the ball, he can start running. It is, however, better to catch the ball, as you can throw it back at the pitcher and knock him out. Once either has happened, the catcher must exchange his lacrosse stick for a hockey stick and chase after the runner. This gives the runner a 3 second minimum head start from the catcher. If the pitcher is not knocked out, or is temporarily incapacitated from the throw, he can still get his own hockey stick and run after the runner as well. You can then hide, sleep, trick your opponents (such as tying their shoes together) or do whatever you like until you can reach home base, as long as you touch each of the three bases along the way. This is why it takes a long time for games to commence.
Moccasins are proven to be the best footwear for the sport, since the Indians used them and they can run for miles and miles.
Pizza bagels are the official food of the sport.
The name for the type of martial arts that is used in Stickball is Super Stickarate.
Special rules that must be adhered to are as follow:
- If you are running through someones house you gotta leave them a present, wrapped with a bow and everything and left on the master bedroom bed.
- Usually, people leave pizza bagels on their chair in their house randomly, so if you run through a house that has them, you have to eat them all as fast as you can, you can't leave any before you keep chasing the runner. You can't just leave them out being eaten by other people.
- Bases are able to be designated as anything box-like, including, but not limited to, an actual box of canned water or soda. It just cannot change once it is established.
- The basemen are allowed to stay in their cars and sleep or do whatever while waiting for the runner to approach their position.
- People don't usually get to first base, let alone home. If a runner makes it to your base, you are able to keep any or all of the items they are wearing at the time, as they forfeit it in their loss.
- If the runner defeats a basemen, they are able to take whatever they find from that baseman. If the basemen regains consciousness before the runner scores a homerun, they are allowed to reassign themselves to a later base.
- If the runner is standing on a base, he is safe and cannot be touched by the field players.
- Fiery pits, mountains, and other obstacles are allowed to be built in between bases, as the basemen can plan where a base is, as long as it is somehow reachable.
- A net must be constructed by the time the runner comes back to home, and the runner must run into it to score a home run.
- You can't use anything motorized to get to your destination. You can hide inside of things like cars, but you cannot use them to travel.
Relevant articles:
- Stickball movie
