The Big Smack

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The universe began with The Big Smack.

God smacked Satan because he was beating him at Twister while they were in Heaven.

So God, with his bad sportsmanship and all, said: “I condemn you to be a Human” and Satan said: “NOOOOOOOOO oh well, as long as I get blunts and girls and superbowl’s.”

So then God smacked him and it caused Satan to fart many times, each fart let out a planet. (Of course, he farted out Venus first cause he just ate a chilly dog with extra cheese) and Earth was the last one to pop out, cause he pissed on it.

Then God smacked Satan down to Earth and that's how it all began.

Satan eventually grew very powerful and created his own realm of Hell. He chills out there most of the time now.