Difference between revisions of "Santa Claus"
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Once, he lost his [[Christmas Spirit]] and became truly evil, wreaking tons of damage across the globe on that day. [[The River]] served to restore his [[Christmas Spirit]] by torturing him. | Once, he lost his [[Christmas Spirit]] and became truly evil, wreaking tons of damage across the globe on that day. [[The River]] served to restore his [[Christmas Spirit]] by torturing him. | ||
| − | His son is [[Jingle Bear]]. | + | His son is [[Jingle Bear]]. He lives with his mom (but not his wife), [[Rita Claus]], in [[Santa's House]] in [[Santa's Village]]. |
He has a miniature model of [[Santa's Village]] inside his house for planning purposes. | He has a miniature model of [[Santa's Village]] inside his house for planning purposes. | ||
Revision as of 08:55, 17 December 2011
Santa Claus is the ruler of the North Pole.
Santa Claus has ordered the mass murder of several thousand elves in order to strike back at capitalism.
He gives toys to children by running a slave shop of elves. He whips them throughout the whole year so they make more and more. He infringes on the copyrights and patents of practically everyone making the toys and things people like. The toys are actually sex toys for children around the world, cause he’s a pervert. That’s why he goes around saying “ho ho ho.”
He calls his sperm “Ol' Santa Claus Magic.” He likes to make kids hop up and down on his lap every once in a while to stimulate himself.
He has a doomsday device known as the Electrosucker hidden beneath in the ocean of the North Pole.
Once, he lost his Christmas Spirit and became truly evil, wreaking tons of damage across the globe on that day. The River served to restore his Christmas Spirit by torturing him.
His son is Jingle Bear. He lives with his mom (but not his wife), Rita Claus, in Santa's House in Santa's Village.
He has a miniature model of Santa's Village inside his house for planning purposes.
Relevant articles:
http://squackle.com/8718/broadcasting-company/sbc-news-christmas-special/
